The 6 Blessings Challenge

Jason Wright wrote an article challenging readers to count six blessings that filled 2013.  Amidst reflecting on the past rough year and hoping for better things for the one to come, I immediately thought this would be a great way to change my current thought patterns. So here's six of the blessings that filled my 2013.

First, I had the amazing opportunity to go on a cruise to the Western Caribbean at the beginning of the year. I thought it would be a lot of fun and a great time to socialize with hundreds of other LDS singles. To my surprise, the best part of this whole experience was seeing the beauty of these areas of the earth and meeting the people that live there.  After meeting and getting to know a shop keeper on our first stop in Cozumel, I decided to get to know one person in each place we docked. It was amazing to meet some of my brothers and sisters that live in places so far away. To me it was like touching heaven.

 

Second, while I had moved into a new ward in 2012, it was in the early months of 2013 that I felt established and accepted in my new ward. I have met new friends that have been through similar challenges as I and we have been able to support each other. We all know that God put us in each others lives for a reason. These will be long-lasting relationships, what a gift!

Third, I have had more health challenges plague me this year, but I have received absolutely overwhelming support from friends and family. I had a thought a few years ago when I became so ill I was in the hospital, that even if the only reason I had gotten sick was to show me how much I really am cared about, I would be grateful. I have been shown how much I am loved in times when I have really needed it.

Fourth, I finally approached a problem with my teeth that I had brushed under the rug for several years. I found out I needed jaw surgery to fix it. I felt it was the right thing to do, but didn't think having my jaw sawed in half was an exciting occurrence-can you blame me? But a week after surgery I got to see my new smile for the first time and couldn't hold back the tears. My smile was healthy and beautiful!  I now have a healthy bite that isn't damaging my teeth or causing more problems with my jaw. The surgery was life-changing, and was a blessing I didn't realize at the time I made the decision to have it. That makes my joy and gratitude all the greater!

Fifth, I have experienced some great heartache and heartbreak this year that have brought me to my knees. While there I asked for many things-great and small-that I desired. And time and time again my prayers were answered with what I asked for. I have learned that God will answer our prayers, and sometimes in better ways than we could expect, so maybe we need to just ask Him for more of what we desire!  He'll find a way to grant us things that will bless us.

Sixth, I lost someone very dear to me this year. The last but greatest blessing of this year has been the pure and perfect love I have developed from having this person in my life that I never could have imagined. If there was one word I could use to sum up this past year it would be Love.  Not because I received it, but because I have felt and developed the kind of unconditional love our Heavenly Father has for His children. This is one of the greatest blessings I have ever received, and I am eternally grateful.

What are six of the blessings that filled your 2013?

Our Own Eternities

I have been thinking a lot about marriage and family lately. I have always been a family gal and have always known that the truest happiness we will ever have comes from forming relationships, most of all, those in our own families.  Since I hit my 20's, I have longed-more like pined-to find my eternal companion and become sealed for time and all eternity.  I wanted to find the one person that would make me feel complete, that would be, as they say in Mexico, my Media naranja, or half-orange. A person that will love me for me and all my imperfections, and one I will love the same way.

Through the past year I have learned the sacred undertaking that starting our own eternal units really is. I have experienced many, many things that blessed me, tried me, stretched me, and showed me I was capable of a lot more than I ever imagined.  They showed me what in life really matters and how we must build and protect those things.

There are two messages that I want to communicate today. First:

 Marriage, starting, and more importantly preserving our own families is of the utmost importance in this world, because in the end, it is preserving our families that is going to preserve our nation, our society, our world.

I firmly believe and support fighting on the front lines to protect and defend our nation and other nations of the world from Satan's evil influence, for it is running rampant everywhere. But in the end, it is not military forces that are going to preserve our society, it is our families!!!!!!!! 

Read the Proclamation on the Family, listen to what all our Church leaders are telling us: The tiny family is what is going to save us, not the defense of our shores.
We must work towards this right now, for the second coming is only approaching ever closer. We must work to become better individuals, to be loving and honorable husbands and wives and to raise loving and honorable children. We, as individuals, have the ability to influence and change the world. To build these kind of individuals, we must build these kinds of families. So in a time when wars are being fought, our government is falling apart and our culture is becoming more lewd, vulgar and corrupt, focusing on preserving our families instead of allowing ourselves to be swallowed in the problems that are attacking the world is where we MUST put our effort!!!  

The Second but more important message is this:

It is only through uniting as a man and woman in marriage that we actually start our own eternity. It is those relationships that anchor us, ground us, grow us, exalt us, give us true happiness.

I had an "Aha" moment a few months ago that changed my course in life. I was jogging, with a gazillion thoughts on marriage running through my head. All of a sudden this thought came to my mind: That my eternal companion and I are meant to become a Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother. In The Church we are always taught that we are living to go back home to God, to become Gods and Goddesses ourselves. But for some reason, it didn't pierce me in such a literal sense. 

Whooaaah! I thought. The man I marry, he's to be a Heavenly Father. He's to be of the caliber of Heavenly Father!!! Holy Crap! (Yes, those were the actual words going through my head). Now I realize that none of us are at that "heavenly" caliber right now, but just thinking of the scope of becoming that blew my mind. That is a huge task, a huge thing! The huge thing! 

All of a sudden, certain men in my life I thought of when it came to dating and marriage seemed like the completely wrong decision. Every guy I knew seemed like the wrong decision! The gravity of my choice of my eternal companion hit me so hard and I stopped mid-jog like I had slammed into a concrete wall and I almost fell over. The physical pain in my heart that came along with it was also just as real. 

But the reality of that began sinking deep into my soul, and the joy that grew from that moment far outweighed that pain. I thirsted for more and started studying about marriage and the family from many different sources and have gained perspective and wisdom I absolutely treasure. I began to see how experiences I had been having had been molding me to become the kind of spouse I wanted to be, the kind Heavenly Father wanted me to be. My time on this earth became so much more precious because I know I have it to prepare and start becoming that Heavenly Mother. This is time to get a jump-start and work on my own eternity.  And I want to find a worthy man who is loving, honest, kind, and who is constantly striving to become like Christ to do it with.

The bonds that two people make as husband and wife, the selflessness that grows from deeply caring about another person's well-being above your own, the support, security and loyalty of someone who loves you always being by your side, that is where true happiness really comes from. And the little spirits that will enter your life and your home is another source of that joy.

Now some people say marriage is not for them, or they've tried it once, it didn't work and they are meant to be alone.  I am going to be completely uncensored and blunt: NO THEY AREN'T! God wants every single one of His children to have their own eternity.  He wants them to grow and obtain eternal salvation.  We can only do that united to another person, with your own family. That's the only way!!! Yes, some people, some of the most wonderful people in this world, do not marry while they are here. They will get that opportunity to do so in the next life. But do not use or accept the excuse that you are better off alone. That is a lie that Satan wants you to sink into so you deny yourself the greatest joy and happiness there is and will ever be. If you keep thinking and living that way and alienating yourself from that opportunity, the bitter feelings you incur in this life are going to follow you to the next. You may choose on the other side not to accept the gift of your own eternity, or you are going to have a hard time accepting and obtaining it, for however long a time it may be.
I am ready and I know God knows I'm ready to start my own family, and although I would rather be brought together with my companion asap, it isn't the right time yet. So I am using this time to the best of my ability to learn, grow and prepare. It is my most earnest hope and prayer that each and every one of you will realize and live for the gift of your own eternity. Your own eternity! Your own happiness!

See the Good in the World. Be the Good in the World.

With seeing all of the horrible things going on in the world these past couple of months-well, let's be honest, years-I've tried to look for and focus on the good that is in this world.  There is a bunch of bad stuff in this world, from moral crud that has taken over our media, to the worst evils known to man, abusing, terrorizing and killing for the sake of hatred, for the sake of power. The adversary is taking the hearts of men and turning them cold.  But just because that is running rampant doesn't mean that good isn't flourishing too!

We know good will conquer evil in the end, so some people ask, why fight? Because we have to fight the evil in order for good to win! So look for the good in the world, and focus on being the good in the world. That is how we will continue forward, that is how good will prevail. Here's some little ditties to drive this home. Hope you like 'em :)

We are More than Conquerors Through Him

I love a talk given by Elder Paul V. Johnson of the Seventy entitled, "More than Conquerors through Him that Loved Us".

 I came home from church one Sunday and thought I'd grab the Ensign to read. I skimmed through the address titles, decided upon this one and was blessed with a new perspective on the message, "After much tribulation come the blessings."
Here are my favorite passages from it:

• "At times it may seem that our trials are focused on areas of our lives and parts of our souls with which we seem less able to cope. Since personal growth is an intended outcome of these challenges, it should come as no surprise that the trials can be very personal-almost laser guided to our particular needs or weaknesses [ain't that the truth!]. And no one is exempt, especially not Saints striving to do what's right."

• "A pattern in the scriptures and in life shows that many times the darkest, most dangerous tests immediately precede remarkable events and tremendous growth. 'After much tribulation come the blessings.' The children of Israel were trapped against the Red Sea before it was parted. Nephi faced danger, anger from his brothers, and multiple failures before he was able to procure the brass plates.  Joseph Smith was overcome by an evil power so strong that it seemed he was doomed to utter destruction. When he was almost ready to sink into the despair, he exerted himself to call upon God, and at that very moment he was visited by the Father and the Son.  Often investigators face opposition and tribulation as they near baptism. Mothers know that the challenge of labor precede the miracle of birth. Time after time we see marvelous blessings on the heels of great trials."

• "In the midst of problems, it is nearly impossible to see that the coming blessings far outweigh the pain, humiliation or heartbreak we are experiencing at the time. 'No chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.'"

• "Sometimes we want to have growth without challenges and to develop strength without struggle. But growth cannot come by taking the easy way...Not one of the trials and tribulations we face is beyond our limits, because we have access to help from the Lord. 'We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.' (Phillippians 4:13)"

So when the trials of life rain fire upon you and you don't understand why nor think you can get through them, remember this,

Help Me Find It

The path of life takes us through some pretty crazy and hard twists and turns. We come up against circumstances that throw us for a loop and have to make decisions on which fork in the road we are going to take, sometimes seemingly completely blindly. But the truth is with faith, we are never blind. If we ask our Heavenly Father where we are to go, what He wants us to do and how we wants us to do it, He will answer and direct each and every step of the path. And I mean every single step.
Recently I have had several friends that have been trying to decipher what the Lord wants them to do in their lives, which way their pathways are supposed to lead. I too was having a challenging time making a decision about what path I was to take for something in my life. I had received strong impressions and knew I needed to find out what to do, and I asked God what I was to do, but it took some action and effort on my part to get the answer, but eventually I did. The answer seemed to go against all reason, but the it was completely clear what I was to do. But, as it usually goes, I had no idea where this path was going to lead. I decided to put my faith in my Heavenly Father and go forward anyway.

A song that came over my Pandora station tonight, one that I have heard dozens of times, spoke to me in a completely new way. When I heard of it I thought of my dear friends and the challenges they are facing right now.  It is called Help Me Find It, by the Christian group Sidewalk Prophets. Needless to say this is my next itunes purchase.  This is a beautiful song that helped me put things in perspective, and to be okay giving my will over to His. Whatever it is He wants me to find, to have, He will give it to me, even if it is just peace for the moment.

Here's the lyrics and video. I hope this song touches you too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsjZ94K7UQs

Help Me Find It
I don't know where to go from here
It all used to seem so clear
I'm finding I can't do this on my own

I don't know where to go from here
As long as I know that You are near
I'm done fighting
I'm finally letting go

I will trust in You
You've never failed before
I will trust in You

(Chorus )
If there's a road I should walk
Help me find it
If I need to be still
Give me peace for the moment
Whatever Your will
Whatever Your will
Can You help me find it

Can You help me find it

I'm giving You fear and You give faith
I giving You doubt
You give me grace
For every step I've never been alone

Even when it hurts, You'll have Your way
Even in the valley I will say
With every breath
You've never let me go

I will wait for You
You've never failed before
I will wait for You

Chorus

I lift my empty hands (come fill me up again)
Have Your way my King (I give my all to You)
I lift my eyes again (Was blind but now I see)
‘Cause You are all I need

If there's a road I should walk
Help me find it
If I need to be still
Give me peace for the moment
Whatever Your will
Whatever Your will
Can You help me find it

Yes, He can. Yes, He will.

Trouble Teaches, Trouble Transforms

I finally finished "Making Sense of Suffering" by Wayne Brickey. The timing was perfect, as my body has been revolting against me the last two weeks and I have been tired and near falling into my pit of despair. The second to last section, "A Perfect Schoolhouse" brought me peace and strength to not give into the discouragement and hopelessness. It talks about how trouble teaches and transforms.  It is so powerful I have re-written it here for all to read. I hope it gives you strength and hope as well :)

"Mortal life is a marvel of elegance, but by heavenly standards it is coarse of flesh. Wisely designed imperfections-mental, emotional, and physical-make our bodies the perfect schoolhouse. They indicate to heavenly friends that we are still in school, facing problems not found in heaven.
  It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes. -Psalm 119:71
Mental imperfections severely limit memory and thought for the spirit within. When Nehor offered his falsehoods to the the Nephites, "many did believe on his words, even so many that they began to support him and give him money." In their first estate, none of these people (not even Nehor) would have bought such nonsense. But in the mental limits of the second estate, they embraced what they once rejected. In this schoolhouse, we pass test by trusting rather than brains.
Emotional imperfections permit salty tides to toss the spirit to and fro.  But we still have a choice: swim or drift. our best efforts in the strong waves of emotion may seem weak. But what matters is our exertion, not our position, in the ocean of emotion. Will we at least try to imitate the calm and dignity of our Exemplar and turn to him for stability? Strong undercurrents surge from our upbringing, genetic influence, and chemical activity in the central nervous system. These are not always in our control, but in some degree we can react according to the light we have. To our degree, we choose whether to passively float along or actively battle the negative current.
Physical imperfections present all sorts of distractions relating to pleasure, pain, and fatigue. But we are dual beings. The finer part of us must get control of the coarser part before the two fuse together in the resurrection. The daily question is, "Shall I do with my physical temple what God would ask?"
This earthly school offers us our finest hours, even on ordinary days. The lab of the bitter cup teaches us to discern good from evil, polish from stain, living water from poison.  Our hearts develop perfect hearing and bearing. Graduation with highest honors awaits every learner who wears the garb of flesh with patience and faith.
   In much wisdom is much grief. -Ecclesiastes 1:18
The Lord gave Joseph Smith a sample list of troubles that might be permitted in the life of a righteous person, such as being hunted by bloodthirsty men, opposed by the forces of nature, or jailed unjustly.  Then the Lord explained that trouble serves two purposes.
   All these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good. -D&C 122:7
Trouble teaches. What did Joseph learn from his troubles? Above all, he learned that "the God of my fathers delivered me out of all, and will deliver me henceforth." Serious trouble can give us serious experience with God.  The more experience we have, the more we may witness his deliverance. Experience reveals the living God to be a faithful God.
   But trials will only give us knowledge necessary to understand the minds of the ancients. For my part, I think I never could have felt as I now do, if I had not suffered the wrongs that I have suffered. -Joseph Smith, History of the Church
Trouble transforms. We are here to do more than experience the goodness of God. We must acquire it.
   It seems to me my heart will always be more tender after this than ever it was before. -Joseph Smith, History of the Church
Because of the matchless way it teaches and transforms, a mortal life rich with difficulty is the best educational bargain in eternity.  It fits us to be witnesses, heirs, and friends of God. That is why it is worth the trouble."

What would a Holy Person Do?

"What would a holy person do?" That is the question Wendy Watson Nelson poses in her new book, "What Would a Holy Woman Do?" I have changed it up a tad to include both men and women for my purpose here. 

Sister Nelson extended a 3-day experiment to six friends. On each of the three days, each woman was to choose daily activity-something she would normally do-but now she would do it as a holy woman would. Each was encouraged to pray and ponder on it before she began the day. For example: how would a holy woman start her day? How would she read to a child, or exercise? How would she talk with a friend, or shop, or pray, or play, or do laundry? How would a holy woman handle or avoid a conflict?

How would a holy woman respond to her own success or failure? How would a holy woman use her time or energy? How would she welcome her husband or family members home? Would you be willing to try that?

It took me a few pages, but I got into this little book quickly as I read the different women's experiences. Each one shared their experiences and what they learned or how they grew from it.  They mentioned feeling more productive, more energized, more useful and purposeful. They had inspiration on how to deal with challenges in their daily lives and the rest of their days went much better when they acted like a holy woman would do.

It's funny. I had been thinking only the day before that I was so busy, always moving and doing many, many things, and even though I spent so much time doing so much, I didn't feel productive. I felt like I was always lazy, tired, and well, a failure.  I had prayed that morning that Heavenly Father would help me to become and feel more productive, more purposeful, and useful and this book was an answer to my prayers! So I took up this experiment.

I was amazed at the small yet big changes that approaching different activities in my daily life brought. On Day #1 my activity was reading the scriptures.  I read them more slowly and carefully. I gleaned more insight just by praying to do this as a holy woman and asking and acting sincerely.  I felt more peace as I started my day that carried over into the rest of it.  I felt less rush from the get-go and that Spirit stayed with me and helped me as I approached more things during my day.

Days #2 and 3 I choose to approach anything at work that would frustrate me as a holy woman.  I was more aware of myself and my reactions and therefore was able to choose the right as I approached work with this attitude.  I watched what I said and did. Those two days I was more a more proactive and effective provider and put more effort into giving the families I worked with good resources ad quality services. Despite a massive headache, I was so much more productive, more true and sincere in my duties. I felt like a better employee and a much better person overall!

What will you gain by taking the "What would a Holy Person Do?" challenge? Try it! You will be glad you will :)