The Paradox of Life: Joy and Pain

"That's the paradox of this living on this earth, that in the midst of great pain,
you can have great joy as well."
-Kathy Mattea

No matter how much we want to deny it when the going gets tough, we can have joy in the midst of pain. The key to having joy is to choose it.

Two months ago, I made a choice that marked a turning point in my young adult life.  A HUGE choice. THE huge choice.  For years I felt I wanted to let be or postpone the "good" things in life (e.i. relationships, recreational activities, marriage, etc.) until I felt good again, because I couldn't really enjoy them now (half the time I could hardly get out of the house for heavens sake!).  But I came to the realization that I was allowing the pain to have a death-grip on my life, and why in the world was I letting it do that in the first place?!?  I was not going to let this pain control me any longer. No siree!!  I decided I was not going to let my pain stand in my way and prevent me from moving forward.

I recall a gal in church recently commenting that when we make good choices, "There is power that comes with that choice." After I made my choice, I had to put forth a LOT more physical, social and emotional effort than usual to push past the pain and push outside myself into uncomfortable territory. But with those things came power and help from the Lord and immediately blessings began to pour down on me. Those blessings have brought great joy into my life. That joy has sustained me the past couple of months. It's interesting how a good period of your life can be followed up by, or simultaneous to a rough one. I have found that these past two months have been wonderful and amazing, so full of blessings and answered prayers. They have been so joyful.  At the same time, I've had a few new problems pop up and they've been extremely taxing, both physically and emotionally and have left me, many days, completely drained from sun-up to sun-down. I haven't been able to get on top of them, no matter how hard I try. It seems I'm hitting a brick wall with every attempt to understand and resolve the situations. I may not have the answers yet, but they are out there somewhere!

The message today is one of gratitude, happiness and joy!!! You can have great joy in the midst of great pain. It is possible! Maybe not everyday. Maybe not every week; for there is pain that is so deep that it has to be worked through. I've worked through part of mine, and I'll continue to work through it each and every day. When I wake up each morning, I have to recommit myself to "Look Up!" as Pres. Monson would say.

When you wake up tomorrow morning, what will you choose?

A moment of joy with Maeg's on a particularly painful day!

Humbly Proud to be an American

Independence Day has come and gone, and with it the patriotic flame that resides within me has been restoked to it's highest degree, as it usually does at this time of year. For those that know me, you know how  big a supporter and fan of our armed forces I am and how much I enjoy US History. But even they do not know deep my patriotism goes. Patriotism isn't something that can be measured by how many flags you fly in your yard or how red white and blue you dress on national holidays. No, patriotism is something far greater than that.
I have always loved my country and felt grateful that God sent me to this blessed nation.  But there were two events in my life that instilled in my a humble pride for our nation, it's citizens and those in our armed forces who've lived and died to serve and protect it.

Turning Point  #1: I was 8 years old in a performing group called Young Harmony when our director, Shelly, pulled out a brand new piece of music, a song called, God Bless The USA.  I had never heard this song before in my life, but when Shelly pushed the 'Play' button and the opening chords of Lee Greenwood's beloved classic began to fill my ears, chills ran up and down my arms and an overwhelming warm feeling overtook my heart. I instantly loved this song. At the end of each and every performance we had that summer, the three separate groups that made up Young Harmony filled the stage and with religious fervor usually unaccustomed to youth our age, belted out the message that we were
                                                "Proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free
And I won't forget the men who died who gave that right to me
And I'll gladly stand up next to you
And defend Her still today
Cause there ain't no doubt, I love this land
God bless the USA."

To this day, God Bless The USA remains one of my favorite songs. Almost every time I hear it, it brings tears to my eyes. And one of the reasons for that it because of the increased meaning the song has for me because of Turning Point #2!

Turning Point #2 came with my 7th grade trip to Washington DC. What a trip! It started out as a mess because it was hot, humid and, to tell you the truth, our nation's capitol is very, verrrrrry dirty. No joke. Dirtiest city I have ever been to in my life. Yuck. But when we tweens started getting over that, the magic happened.

I had read and learned about the sacrifices made in American history, but never before had it been right before my very eyes.  There was such REMEMBRANCE in this place. President Spencer W. Kimball said "The most important word in the dictionary is remember," and everywhere you go in D.C. that's what you get. Places like The Washington, Lincoln, FDR and Vietnam and World War's I and II Memorials, and my personal favorite, Arlington National Cemetery.  It is those things that instilled in me a love and respect for my country and for those who've served it, some to the point of giving their own lives.  

I bowed my head at the tomb of the unknown soldier where my best friend presented a wreath at the Changing of the Guard Ceremony.

I touched the names of those who lost their lives or went missing in action at the Vietnam Memorial. 

I saw the crosses that sat row upon row in Arlington, each graced with a small American flag.

 I stared in awe at the statue of the U.S. Marine Corps Memorial, portraying 6 soldiers raising Old Glory over Iwo Jima.

I tried as hard as I could to hold in the tears at Vietnam War Nurses Memorial, but I just lost it. I could feel that the ground on which I was walking was sacred; none more than in Arlington. And the blood that had been spilt and the hearts that had been broken deserved our reverence and deepest respect.

I spent 7 days in D.C. and there were so many more things I was able to see, visit and do. But aside from all the fun experiences was a most precious gift-the gift of humble pride and gratitude for my amazing country and the amazing individuals who live in, serve and protect it. A truly amazing gift indeed. God Bless America!

Pic taken from our Hawaii trip, U.S.S. Bowfin, Pearl Harbor, October 2011

What experiences shaped the way you feel about America? Please share your stories here! :)

All Creatures Great and Small

Today I took a trip to Hogle Zoo with my best friend, Sarah, and what a great time we had! From the giraffes, to the birds, to the elephants and the new polar bear (who was LOVING all the attention), it was fun all around.

We watched the Wild Bird show, which was awesome, especially when the birds-hawks, owls, doves, eagles, you name it- were released from cages and swooped down low over the audience. In the middle of trying to take pictures, we were startled by two parrots that swooped over our heads, lightly touching the tops of them.  See what I mean? Awesome! We kept asking each other, "How do they train them to do that?!?"

Such cute giraffes-one of my personal favorites!

Momma and Baby Elephant

As we walked through the zoo, we commented to each other how amazing these animals are, and how they were each given specific traits by The Master to fulfill even the most basic activities, like eating or swimming. For example, there is a vulture that doesn't have any feathers on it's head. Why? The bird trainer said that, like other vultures, it eats anything dead, and that can get pretty messy. The lack of feathers keeps them from getting in the way while they gorge down on their lovely road kill.

And otters, they have an oily underfur and flat head that help them glide smoothly and quickly through the water. This comes in handy when chasing food and when being chased themselves.

We can see the glory and beauty of God's creations, all great and small, in places like zoos, aviary's, the mountains or just in your own backyard. I love to wake up in the morning to the sound of birds chirping out my window or go to the mountains and catch a glimpse of a doe and her fawn. Even the insects are fascinating-yes, even the creepy, freaky ones.

Heavenly Father's hand is in everything and everyone. Just as with our warm and cold-blooded friends, He made each and every one of us and gave us traits, strengths and qualities He knew we would need to survive and grow in this life and the life to come. The works of His hands are everywhere, and sometimes we just need to look out our window and see them.

Sarah and I after our fantastic adventure!

The Hurt and The Healer

Today was one of those days. It started with a trip to IMC for a barium swallow flouroscopy (really not as bad as it sounds...at least if you've had a few before. I only had to drink one cup of the thick white glub instead of six!) The test itself was a snap, but the results were discouraging and inconclusive. Again. Story of my life, yes, but I thought I could handle it. But I couldn't. Adding that to the stress of the soon to be announced budget cuts (i.e. some jobs too) at work, I just couldn't. Not alone, that is.
I drove home real quick to grab some breakfast-yes, even after drinking chalky goo, you can have an appetite!-holding the tears in the whole way. And then the tears fell the whole way back to work. But peace and comfort came in the form of a song, one that I had picked up from itunes just a few days ago.
The song was "The Hurt and The Healer," by one of my new favorites, a Contemporary Christian band named mercyme.  And yes, I'm going to place all the lyrics here, as well as the link to the song. I often find that I discover a song that expresses exactly how I feel in a trial in life, thinking there will never be another ever to do it better, but then, I do. This is the latest one, and I am grateful for it. I'm grateful to the artists who wrote it, and I'm grateful to the Lord, who helped and inspired them to write it. Here it is Y'all. Please listen to this song and let it speak to your heart. I think you'll find that your heart has cried out for this same healing and peace at least once in your Amazing life, and that the Lord has blessed you with some type of healing, straight from his Amazing Grace.  Enjoy....

The Hurt and the Healer

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XrPQ-isJnd8

Why?

The question that is never far away

The healing doesn’t come from the explained

Jesus please don’t let this go in vain

You’re all I have

All that remains

So here I am

What’s left of me

Where glory meets my suffering

I’m alive

Even though a part of me has died

You take my heart and breathe it back to life

I’ve fallen into Your arms open wide

When the hurt and the healer collide

Breathe

Sometimes I feel it’s all that I can do

Pain so deep that I can hardly move

Just keep my eyes completely fixed on You

Lord take hold and pull me through

So here I am

What’s left of me

Where glory meets my suffering

I’m alive

Even though a part of me has died

You take my heart and breathe it back to life

I’ve fallen into your arms open wide

When the hurt and the healer collide

It’s the moment when humanity

Is overcome by majesty

When grace is ushered in for good

And all our scars are understood

When mercy takes its rightful place

And all these questions fade away

When out of the weakness we must bow

And hear You say “It’s over now”

I’m alive

Even though a part of me has died

You take my heart and breathe it back to life

I’ve fallen into your arms open wide

When The hurt and the healer collide

Jesus come and break my fear

Awake my heart and take my tears

Find Your glory even here

When the hurt and the healer collide

Jesus come and break my fear

Awake my heart and take my tears

Find Your glory even here

15 Things to Give Up On for a Happier Life (Part 2)

Picking up where we left off.....
8. Give up your need to impress others.  Stop trying so hard to be something that you're not just to make others like you.  It doesn't work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you're not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.
9. Give up your resistance to change. Change is good! Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and the lives of those around you.
"Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls." -Joseph Campbell
10. Give up labels. Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don't understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open.
11. Give up on your fears. Fear is just an illusion, it doesn't exist-you created it. It's all in your mind.  Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place. As FDR said, "The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself."
12. Give up your excuses. Send them packing and tell them they're fired.  You no longer need them.  A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, using all kind of excuses that 99.9% of the time aren't even real!
13. Give up the past. Yes, it's hard. Super hard!!! Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, or when the past was so awful, the present is awful and you pretty much accept that the future will be no better. But the present is all we have in life, so be present in everything you do and enjoy life. Life is a journey, not a destination.
14. Give up attachment. This is a hard concept to grasp, but the moment you detach yourself from things, (and that doesn't mean you give up your love for them-because love and attachment are different, with attachment coming from a place of fear and love is pure, kind and selfless) you become so peaceful.
15. Give up living your life to other people's expectations. Way to many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They are living their lives according to what others think is best for them.  They ignore their inner voice. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need...and eventually they forget about themselves. You must live your own life!

I  gained a lot of insight into my life as I contemplated these 15 things.  I have a hard time giving up each and every one of these things to a certain extent, as we all do. But I'm going to try harder to let go of more of these things, even if it's just a little bit at a time. 
Robyn

What are we worth?

What is our value? What are we worth, as individuals, as children of God?  Each of us struggles at times with feelings of worthlessness.  We fail a test, get let go from a job, lose a special relationship, experience periods of ill health that leave us unable to participate in daily life, or heck, we just have a bad day!  And we ask ourselves, "What good am I? Am I worthwhile?"
Well, I found the most powerful, simple answer in the most unusual of places: from a character in an LDS romance novel.  Yes, you read me right!  I'll give you a little background info so you can understand the context this character was coming from. I was reading this book a few days ago, where the main character, Suzanna was visiting with one of her friends, Marcie, who had been in a car accident that left her confined to a bed in a long-term care facility. This friend had recently lost her husband to terminal illness, had no living family and had been defrauded by her accident lawyer. Talk about a bad turn of events!  But Marcie was positive and accepted her circumstances. Suzanne was amazed at Marcie's attitude and asked her how she gained such peace when she was broke, disabled and alone. Marcie's response was this:
"I realized my value doesn't depend on what I can do, by what I can accomplish.  I realized my worth comes from being loved by my Father.  It's kind of like a newborn baby.  We don't love them because they're so useful, or even for their potential usefulness.  We love them because they're ours.  I came to realize that the Lord loves me because I'm His, and it calmed me.  He loves us all that way, and it's priceless."
Priceless indeed.  No need to say more. It's just one more facet of His amazing grace.

Imagine that baby is you, and you'll realize your worth too.

15 Things to Give Up On for a Happier Life (Part 1)

A few weeks ago, my wonderful supervisor at work, Carrie, shared a little piece of wisdom that I'd like to share too!
"Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold onto so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering-and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy-we cling on to them. Not anymore! Starting today we will give up on those things that no longer service us, and we will embrace change."

1. Give up on your need to always be right. Some of us can't stand the idea of being wrong, even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and others.  Whenever you feel the urge to jump into a fight over who's right, ask yourself this: "Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?"
2. Give up your need for control. Just allow everything and everyone around you to be just as they are and you'll see how much better that will make you feel.
"By letting it go it all gets done.  The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try, the world is beyond winning." -Lao Tzu
3. Give up on blame. Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don't have, for what you feel or don't feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.
4. Give up on your self-defeating talk.  Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mind-set? Don"t believe everything your mind is telling you. You are better than that.
"The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly.  Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive." -Eckert Tolle
5. Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can and cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!
"A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind." -Elly Roselle
6. Give up complaining. (I am a bad perpetrator of this one!) Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things-people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to.  It's not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it.  Never underestimate the power of positive thinking!!!
7. Give up the luxury of criticism. Give up your need to criticize things, events and people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same.  We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood.  We all want something, and something is wished by us all. 


I'll post the remaining half of the list later this week, so stay tuned!
Robyn