Dear Jenni (name has been changed),
I went to the dentist today and your mother was my hygienist. She's always been my favorite and we enjoyed catching up on each other's lives. We talked about my five-month old daughter, being a mother and how much it means for us to raise our children to walk in righteousness and truth. She told me a lot about you and some of the events that have come along your walk on that path.
Throughout the course of our conversation, I came to admire you a great deal. Here is why:
Your mom told me, "Now Jenni, she isn't quite what you'd call shy, or timid, but she's a little backward."
"Oh?" I inquired, curious as to what that meant.
"Well, here's an example," mom said. "She went to a party a weekend ago and one of the stars of the football team was there and tried to get her do kiss him. She knows him from a class they had together last year, but they aren't 'friends'. He said, 'Hey Jenni, I have ten pieces of popcorn here. For everyone I catch in my mouth, you have to kiss me.' "
Needless to say, You were surprised and more than a little unnerved. You told him no, but he wouldn't listen. The first nine of those pieces of popcorn landed on the floor, but the tenth found it's target into his mouth.
"C'mon Jenni, give me a kiss!" He said. Your friends pressured you to do it, thinking you were crazy and stupid not to. He's a football star for heaven sake, and pretty good-looking one to boot! Any other girl would have fainted with glee for the opportunity to kiss him. But without missing a beat, you put two of your fingers to your lips and blew him a kiss instead.
"Way to go girl!" I practically shouted as I lay in the dentist chair, pumping my fist in the air. "Give it right back to him! Haha!" I thought you were quite an awesome girl to respond the way you did. But that wasn't the end of your story.
Your mom continued to tell me how this young man didn't stop there. In the days after that party, he increasingly and intensely pursued you, blowing up your phone with texts, the majority of which were some variation of "Give me a kiss", "Where can we meet up to makeout?" " Why won't you kiss me?" It then grew to asking you out on a date, to which you had no desire to respond yes to. This boy would not give up, he would not let this go.
I was infuriated for you! The only reason this jock was going after you was for himself, not you. Getting a kiss from you was just another notch in his stick, a game to win. It reminded me of a common plot on teenage sitcoms. Athletic star/popular teenage boy goes after the girl who turns him down to save face, win a bet or for just plain old sport. He was trying to take advantage of you and your emotions, and it made me sick!
You were quite distressed with the situation, and I can only imagine how you might have felt. In this conundrum, you took screen shots of the texts and sent them to your friends, and they told you to just do it, and again, that you were stupid not to. Then you did something that I hope my daughter will do one day. You showed your mother the texts, as she already knew what was going on, and you asked her what she thought she should do. You trust and respect her opinion and counsel over that of your friends. There are a lot of young women in this world who would follow the crowd rather than the counsel of parents. Your mother asked you, "Okay, let's run through the scenarios here. What could happen if you go? How will you feel if you do?"
You told her you weren't comfortable going on a date with this young man. To each pestering request he made to you, you gave him a reason why you couldn't go: soccer practice didn't get out until later; you were spending time with your mom and sister while the men in the family went to the Priesthood Session of the LDS General Conference. You found an honest way to thwart each of his suggestions. And from what your mother told me, you will continue to not give in!
Jenni, I was overcome by the most powerful emotion as your mother spoke of the girl you are and the righteous choices you are making. You are not "a little bit backward", but, in fact, are facing full-forward, on the straight and narrow path. It's the others around you who are backward, as that is the world's way.
You are what others would call a "Molly Mormon" or a "prude". How do I know that? Because in my younger years, I was called the same thing. I was the girl who felt out of place in a world of peers who lowered their standards and mocked those who did not. The girl who wouldn't go to certain movies with groups of friends because the content made me uncomfortable. In fact, I called my mother one night to pick her up from a Young Women's activity because the other girls and leaders had chosen to watch a movie that wasn't appropriate. (Handling the scoffs and scorns coming from the Great and Spacious Building isn't easy; it's worse coming from those who are fellow followers of the Iron Rod). I was the girl who refused to swear, to wear immodest clothing when even many girls of the same faith did, and who stayed far away from walking the tightrope of inappropriate conduct as possible. I was the girl who chose to follow what she knew to be right instead of what her peers thought was cool or acceptable. I was, in a way, you.
That is why I was overcome with such emotion, though it surprised me how much. I tried to hold in the tears while in that public place, but when later recounting your story to my husband, couldn't stop them from coming out. I wished I could speak with you personally to tell you this, but as that wasn't possible, I instead asked your mother to tell you the following:
Jenni, you are a strong and amazing daughter of God. I want you to know that I admire you, so incredibly much! Please know that you are making righteous choices, and that that is what really matters. Do not be afraid to share your thoughts about why you feel the way you do. In this day and age, we must be definitively clear and bold in standing up for truth and righteousness. Some may see this as self-righteous no matter how tactfully and humbly you present it. Pay them no heed. Your example will resound with more than you know.
Take it from a woman who was once in your shoes, you will look back on these days and be pleased with the choices you are making right now in your life. And even more importantly, your Heavenly Father will be pleased with you, and He will bless you beyond measure for these choices.
You will continue facing opposition into your adult years for not giving into the world. But you are building a strong and steady foundation right now that will protect you and help make it easier to turn off the world's messages and temptations. You may find yourself at a point where it isn't hard to make righteous choices because you see the wiles of the Adversary for what they are and you won't touch them with a 10-foot-pole.
We need more girls and more women like you Jenni, especially in a world where society and morality are crumbling. Hold fast to your standards, keep shining your light, the Savior's light. As a mother, I want to raise my daughter in that same light. I thought about her as your mother and I talked, thinking of the similar situations she may find herself in some day. I hope my daughter will grow up to become a strong, unshakable daughter of God like you. Thank you Jenni :)
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