What are we worth?

What is our value? What are we worth, as individuals, as children of God?  Each of us struggles at times with feelings of worthlessness.  We fail a test, get let go from a job, lose a special relationship, experience periods of ill health that leave us unable to participate in daily life, or heck, we just have a bad day!  And we ask ourselves, "What good am I? Am I worthwhile?"
Well, I found the most powerful, simple answer in the most unusual of places: from a character in an LDS romance novel.  Yes, you read me right!  I'll give you a little background info so you can understand the context this character was coming from. I was reading this book a few days ago, where the main character, Suzanna was visiting with one of her friends, Marcie, who had been in a car accident that left her confined to a bed in a long-term care facility. This friend had recently lost her husband to terminal illness, had no living family and had been defrauded by her accident lawyer. Talk about a bad turn of events!  But Marcie was positive and accepted her circumstances. Suzanne was amazed at Marcie's attitude and asked her how she gained such peace when she was broke, disabled and alone. Marcie's response was this:
"I realized my value doesn't depend on what I can do, by what I can accomplish.  I realized my worth comes from being loved by my Father.  It's kind of like a newborn baby.  We don't love them because they're so useful, or even for their potential usefulness.  We love them because they're ours.  I came to realize that the Lord loves me because I'm His, and it calmed me.  He loves us all that way, and it's priceless."
Priceless indeed.  No need to say more. It's just one more facet of His amazing grace.

Imagine that baby is you, and you'll realize your worth too.

15 Things to Give Up On for a Happier Life (Part 1)

A few weeks ago, my wonderful supervisor at work, Carrie, shared a little piece of wisdom that I'd like to share too!
"Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold onto so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering-and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy-we cling on to them. Not anymore! Starting today we will give up on those things that no longer service us, and we will embrace change."

1. Give up on your need to always be right. Some of us can't stand the idea of being wrong, even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and others.  Whenever you feel the urge to jump into a fight over who's right, ask yourself this: "Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?"
2. Give up your need for control. Just allow everything and everyone around you to be just as they are and you'll see how much better that will make you feel.
"By letting it go it all gets done.  The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try, the world is beyond winning." -Lao Tzu
3. Give up on blame. Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don't have, for what you feel or don't feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.
4. Give up on your self-defeating talk.  Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mind-set? Don"t believe everything your mind is telling you. You are better than that.
"The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly.  Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive." -Eckert Tolle
5. Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can and cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!
"A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind." -Elly Roselle
6. Give up complaining. (I am a bad perpetrator of this one!) Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things-people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to.  It's not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it.  Never underestimate the power of positive thinking!!!
7. Give up the luxury of criticism. Give up your need to criticize things, events and people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same.  We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood.  We all want something, and something is wished by us all. 


I'll post the remaining half of the list later this week, so stay tuned!
Robyn

Running With Lisa

It was a beautiful, wonderful morning!  Today my family and I attended "Running with Lisa", a 5K Run to benefit my cousin, Lisa Calderwood, who found out in January of this year that she has brain cancer.  

Last year Lisa started having migraine headaches-sick migraine headaches.  She went to many doctors, but it took a few months before a neurologist finally ordered an MRI to see if there was anything going on in her brain.  Lisa had the MRI on a Thursday, got the news that she had a massive growth on her brain and was ordered to be admitted to the Neuro-ICU on Friday, and had brain surgery to remove the tumor on Sunday. Talk about a whirlwind weekend!  

Through it all, Lisa has been a pillar of strength.  She and her husband Cody keep everyone updated on Facebook (I became a Facebook Fiend as all of this was going down!) and their posts and pictures show their optimism and hope.  I don't see what goes on behind closed doors, so I can't know what feelings of fear, sadness or frustration she may have, for everybody has them now and then.  But she keeps on smiling, through the recovery from surgery, the seizures she started to have, the radiation, the chemotherapy and it's side effects, through trying to finance her treatments.  

I love Lisa, and her family and friends love her.  She and her family in the quaint little mountain city of Midway, Utah.  The outpouring of help from her friends and neighbors there has been incredible. I love the whole ambiance and feel of small, mountain-set communities like Heber and Midway; the beauty of nature in them, the smell of fresh, clean, smoky air, the absolutely beautiful modern yet vintage homes, the "small-town" feel.  As I walked through Midway with the throng of people there for Lisa, I felt was gratitude. "Thank you Midway," I thought, smiling to myself. "Thank you for loving and embracing this family."  I will always be endeared to this beautiful community that has such beautiful people.

My cousins Haley and Lindsey and I after the Run

It was an honor to be there today; to walk and visit with my extended family, to show our support for her and her family, to see her in person and give her a big hug.  This run invigorated me: physically, emotionally, spiritually.  And I'm confident that it did the same for Lisa and her family.  She spoke to the crowd of hundreds near the end of the event, showing her head of hair that's slowly growing back and thanking everyone for their love, donations, help, and support.  And she did it smiling all the way.  She is an example of God's amazing grace.  Lisa, I love you.

Lisa, expressing her thanks to the hundreds of people who showed up to support her today

I hope you have someone in your life who is an example of His amazing grace, too.

Cruisin' 5th East with Grandma

My work office moved to a new location last month, and it has turned out to have a certain benefit that I initially never would have have realized.  The office used to be located on 700 East, and we are now on 500 East in Murray.  For those in my Lyman family, you may know where I'm going with this if I tell you the benefit has to do with the fact that the office is on 5TH EAST. If not, read on...

My Grandma Lyman passed away 6 months ago, and it was known to almost everybody in her family and ward that she was the biggest supporter of driving 5th East. "You can always get anywhere on 5th East," she would say.  The speed limit was slower, granted, but it was never congested, very quiet and kind of quaint. 

There's only one time I can actually remember witnessing Grandma's love of 5th East in person.  My grandparents, mother and I were driving from their home in Sugarhouse to the Conference Center for a concert, with my Grandpa in the drivers seat, and Grandma in the "backseat driver's" seat.  Now, Grandma and Grandpa were like Earl and Opal Pickles (of the classic comic), and this especially came out while they were driving.  My grandpa was taking his own way down there, and Grandma was opening her mouth every several seconds giving him "suggestions" or outright orders on which way to go.  In those front seats, they were classic curmudgeons, battling it out.  My mother and I couldn't keep the giggles in from the back seats, no matter how much we didn't want them to think we were disrespecting them.  It all came to a head and mom and I lost it in the back seats.  It's one little moment in life that has kept us laughing, and kept my Grandparents alive in our hearts.

Since their death, I have thought of them every time I am driving on 5th East. Normally I would always take 7th East because it's a lot faster.  Now I take 5th East whenever I can, and always drive it on my way home from work.  I roll the windows down, soak up the sun, keep the radio off, and I think of her. I talk to her.  It's my daily communion with my Grandma. 

I feel blessed to have such a physical thing that ties me to her emotionally and spiritually.  She is forever alive, but when I drive 5th East, it's like she's sitting in next seat over, cruisin' with me.

As much as you trust...

So I was reading in Alma 38 today and a particular scripture caught my eye in a new way. It was Alma 38:5:
"And now my son, Shiblon, I would that ye should remember, that as much as ye shall put your trust in God even so much ye shall be delivered out of your trials, and your troubles, and your afflictions, and ye shall be lifted up at the last day."
The phrases that stuck out to me were "as much" as you put your trust in the Lord, and "so much" you'll be delivered from your trials.  As I read this, the image that popped into my mind was this written as a math equation on a chalkboard: As much faith as you have=How much deliverance you get.
But that can't be correct, because even the most faithful of people, like President Kimball, who suffered from serious health challenges during his life, don't have their troubles taken magically away.  But it sounded that way from the words right there on the page that I decided to study this one scripture, break it down and try to understand what the Lord is really telling us. So I went onto lds.org and opened up their online Study Notebook to see what insights I could find.  It's the first time I ever used it and I loved it!  It was kind of nice to be able to see the cross-referenced scriptures pop up right there next to the scripture you're reading so you can see them at the same time.  There are three footnotes to this scripture, for the words "trust", "delivered", and "troubles".  In those footnotes, I discovered what the Lord is really saying.
For "trust", Psalms 50:15 and D&C 100:17 talk about calling upon the name of the Lord in our troubles.  Trust here means praying to Him-with faith- and asking for His help.
"Delivered" is cross-referenced to Matthew 11: 28-30:
"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
" Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest to your souls.
"For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."
Christ says we can become yoked to Him to make our burdens light.  Now, yokes are custom made specially for the cattle who are going to be wearing them.  Each cattles' neck and head are different, and if it isn't made to exact specifications, it will be painful and uncomfortable-even crippling-to the one wearing it.  When we allow Christ to share our burden, to become yoked to Him, He individualizes our care to lighten our load. None of this necessarily means that our burdens are going to be taken away.  They may still be there, but be easier to endure.

I find it interesting that Christ says 'my burden is light."  You don't think of Christ having burdens or problems, because He's the perfect and saving one.  He helps and saves all of us, the people with all the burdens!  But surely He did suffer ALL burdens.  He may have done it in a garden 2,000 years ago, but He did.  And he remembers every single one.
So with Him our burdens become easier, lighter, and that's what we all desire isn't it?  I know it's what I want.  Some days I will have reached my limit and just want all the bad stuff to be completely removed, eradicated from my life.  Other days I can be content with just a little reprieve.  I don't know what "rest" to my soul will come exactly, but I'm much happier when I have hope in the Savior that it will come.
Even if we have our troubles till the day we die, we will be much happier if we call upon and ask the Lord for His help, yoke ourselves to Him and accept the blessings he has for us, trusting that whatever deliverance He has planned can be enough for us to, even in this life, find rest to our souls.

Christ's Promise: Our Losses Made Up

I'm extra tired tonight- if that's possible. Some unexpected things had come on and pushed me over my threshold.  I was almost overcome and so, when I stopped at dinner to say a blessing on my food, found plea's to the Lord tumbling out of my mouth.  I told Him how I was feeling, the worries I had and then asked Him to give me the strength to get through them all.  I ended my prayer and sat down to eat.

I was reading the paper at dinner, the Mormon Times to be exact (I love it!), and in an article came a small, sweet answer of comfort.  It was simply a quote from the Prophet Joseph Smith, and it was this:

"All your losses will be made up to you in the Resurrection, provided that you continue faithful."

The first part was all that I read before I started to cry (yes, cry, again).  "All your losses will be made up to you in the Resurrection." This message is a doctrine of the gospel, but hearing said it in different words helps you see it in different ways when you really need it.

I'm not going to write anymore, just leave this for you.  What does this mean to you?  Think about it, but keep the answers in your heart.   What losses have you had in life?  What have you had that has been adverse?  What good things that you wanted have you not had?  It doesn't matter what they are, Christ promises you that if you are faithful, they will be made up to you in the Resurrection. What an amazing, wonderful gift to look forward to!  I know I do.

Endoscopy brings...Gratitude

I had an endoscopy Tuesday, and doing so reminded me of some wonderful blessings I sometimes don't see.   Interesting isn't it, how something as odd as a medical procedure-which most people despise-can help you see the good things you have in your life?
When I first arrived at IMC at 2:30 in the afternoon, I was not in a good mood.  I was super-excited to have this done, had been waiting a couple of weeks for it.  I know it meant answers one way or another, and I have needed them badly for the past three months.  But I was hangry-hungry and angry- having not eaten since 8:30 the night before.  I had just finished 6 1/2 hours at work and my pain level was very high.  I wasn't really feeling grateful at the moment, and can ya blame me?  My mother and I waited for the longest hour until I heard a sweet-voiced nurse in the other room say, "We have one more.  Robyn Grant."  My ears perked up and ten seconds she was out calling me name with a big smile on her face.  Hallelujah! I thought.
That was the start of my climb to peace.  In the next half-hour I was waited upon by kind and caring nurses and techs who treated me with utmost respect and who wished me to "feel better soon so you can go out and have some fun."  I got into the procedure room and saw my doctor, my amazing, wonderful doctor.  Dr. Sossenheimer has been my GI Doc for the past 5 years and he has taken such good care of me.  I love this man dearly, dearly. You've gotta know him, but he's this sweet German man and I adore his accent.  He's always asking about my mother and hopes she's doing well (no innuendos intended).  It was he that discovered my celiac disease and he who, when I continued having problems said he would gladly refer me to another Dr. if he couldn't find out what was going on.  That is the trademark of a great doctor.
I felt so grateful to the point of tears as I sat in the procedural room.  I was grateful for my dear mother, who has willingly and lovingly accompanied me for several appt.'s and tests over the past eleven years.  She has always been there.  I was grateful for the friends and family who wished me luck that day and who constantly kept me in their thoughts and prayers.  I was grateful for health insurance, great doctors I have on my team, the opportunity and ability to have tests such as these performed, the miracle of modern medicine and technology, the kind and caring staff who made me feel so at ease. I was grateful for my loved ones who are also going through health challenges and the examples and heros they are to me. I was grateful to my Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ, and all they have helped carry me through, all the strength they have given me.  I was grateful to be alive, to be loved.
It was a good feeling to have, one that is hard to come by sometimes. I whispered a silent prayer of thanksgiving as I turned over on my side, hoping I could get it all out before oblivion of anesthesia hit me, and I did. And I knew that Heavenly Father heard it.